top of page
Search


Playing for a healthy emotional development
Have you ever wondered about the best way to play with your child? It is ideal if we can play in a way that helps our child express their emotions, feel validated, and find their own resources and solutions. When children play, they often enact their experiences, thoughts and feelings. Through play, a child learns how to be in the world, deal with strong emotions, process difficult experiences and act in social circumstances. During a conversation a child will sometimes be
Shirah Shulman


How big should a trauma be to influence your life
During a family constellation session, we often look for a traumatic event that created the struggle or discomfort you or your child feel in the present moment. So how big does a trauma need to be? What are we actually looking for? I would like to share a case study that highlights the importance of noticing, expressing, and acknowledging what happens to us at the time it happens. A father was concerned because his eight-year-old daughter suddenly refused to sleep in her room
Shirah Shulman


What happens when you say ‘I’m sorry’
Sometimes we need to apologise, not necessarily because we were wrong, but because the other person feels hurt, sad, or upset by something we said or did. When we say sorry, we are also saying without words, “I see you.” I see your pain. I see your anger. I understand how you feel, and how you feel is valid. We are also acknowledging our part in how the other person feels. Each of us sees the world through our own eyes, shaped by our beliefs, experiences, and expectations. No
Shirah Shulman


Changing perspectives
On my walk this morning I noticed that on one side of the road there was an autumn tree with red leaves on it, and on the other side of the road there were bushes with new spring flowers. It was very beautiful to see, but what astonished me was that I noticed it at the exact moment I was thinking about how I might change my perspective. I have been struggling with a certain perspective about a situation in my life. Holding this perspective has made me feel like a victim, angr
Shirah Shulman


Saying 'yes'
A few days ago I read a post about saying “yes,” and it touched me deeply. We are all learning that saying “no” is healthy for us. It is good for us to have boundaries, to protect ourselves, especially when it comes to our bodies. What I am writing about is a different kind of “yes.” It is the “yes” we say quietly while sitting with ourselves, eyes closed. The “yes” we offer when we think about situations that annoy us or challenge us, or when we think of people who have hurt
Shirah Shulman


The courage to listen
In one of my sessions I had a conversation with a young teenager. She told me that it is difficult for her to be different. She does not like what others like. She does not follow the norm, and it makes her feel uncomfortable. I reassured her and acknowledged her bravery, her willingness to be true to herself, and her ability to listen to her heart. As she spoke, I found myself thinking about my own journey. I studied two business degrees because “this is a good thing to have
Shirah Shulman


'For the man is a tree in the field'
This sentence is taken from the fourth book of the Bible, Bamidbar (Numbers). I have always loved this sentence. It touches me deeply. When we look at a tree, we see the trunk, the branches, and the leaves. We know it has roots. Sometimes a few are visible, but most of them are hidden. They reach deep into the ground, holding the tree steady, supporting it, nourishing it. Humans do not have physical roots that can be seen. We walk on the ground and move from place to place. Y
Shirah Shulman


Can you achieve inner peace?
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. – Buddha Inner peace often feels elusive. How do we reach a place of peace when there are so many things to do, so many people to please, and so little time, energy, or patience? For me, finding inner peace begins with awareness. Awareness of what is causing me to feel stressed or unsettled. Am I good enough? Will I be loved? Is what I do enough? These are the quiet thoughts that run through our busy minds without us noticing.
Shirah Shulman


The possibility of healing a trauma
Today marks the yearly Holocaust Day in Israel, my home country. I come from a family of victims on both my mother’s side and my father’s side. Many of my ancestors were murdered in Eastern Europe during the war. Today is the first time in my life that I am not feeling anguish on this Memorial Day. I would normally cry and feel tremendous pain, a pain that has accompanied me since childhood as I thought about the fate of my ancestors. I could feel it lying heavily in my body
Shirah Shulman


Autumn leaves and trust
As I was walking my dog this morning, mesmerised by the beauty of nature around me at this time of year, I found myself thinking about trust. Autumn draws our attention to the cycle of life, to endings and beginnings. But today the autumn leaves revealed something different, something that left me feeling warm inside and deeply grateful. Seeing these beautiful, colourful leaves reminded me that I am not alone. That I am supported along the way. That there is a plan. I was thi
Shirah Shulman
bottom of page